Author Archives: Kaitlyn

The Diagnosis

Super-Secret Post Originally written at the beginning of month 19 This cycle, we got an anvil. At this stage, we are becoming more reserved with the detail we share. You’ll hear some of the consequences of the diagnosis, but if we omit details, it’s probably on purpose. We have a non-treatable condition that reduces our chances of conceiving a child naturally to “it could happen, maybe, with enough time.” This condition often responds to the more-routine interventions offered by fertility […]

Making Sense

Super-Secret Post Originally written during month 18 People accustomed to my coping will know it’s rude to tell me there’s a reason for our struggle. Obviously I’d prefer to believe there isn’t a reason I’m meant to not have kids. But if there’s no reason for this, is there a reason for anything? It feels like there’s a dichotomy — either there’s no reason for anything (and that sucks in its own way) or there’s a reason that I don’t […]

Support Group, Support Group, Support Group!

Retyping thoughts when it’s time to post them as “Super-Secret Posts” makes me realize how important support group has been. It fixed the being-alone part and that cushions everything. It also helps me count the things I’m lucky for… at least I can take appointments (or run in for procedures) any time since I study from home. Then again, the women with careers have something else to give them meaning for now. Being a mother was supposed to be my […]

A Very Specialist Appointment

Note: Since these posts were written so far in the past (generally at least 3 calendar months), my mental state is usually very different by the time you read them. So don’t worry too much about my bad moods. I have a few people in an inner circle who get everything in real-time and are being super-awesome at keeping me sane (props to you!). Super-Secret Post Originally written late in month 17 We’re headed to the specialist tomorrow for our […]

Infertility Etiquette

A tangential point to common conversation topics that come up: here’s an interesting link  about infertility etiquette. While these won’t be issues for everyone, they are some common pitfalls to avoid to stay on the safe side. I can tell you that some of these are most definitely buttons for me. Also, here’s a way to frame support and kvetching: comfort in, dump out. I can’t hold myself together while at the same time supporting your problems that are directly […]

Two Years or Not Two Years; and, Stress Revisited

One recurring question we’ve been asked is: why seek help at one year? Other parts of the world use two years as a benchmark. In Britain, I wonder if the 2 year wait is influenced by the fact that the NHS can cover fertility treatment (behind a massive wait list*). (Treatment is alternatively offered privately.*) (*Source: British expat in my support group.) But the way I’ve always thought of it is: why would I wait to get checked out? We […]

Testing Here, Testing There, Testing Testing Everywhere!

Super-Secret Post Originally written month 16 (beginning, middle, and end) Here beginnith the testing.

The Referral Adventure

Super-Secret Post Originally written mid-month-15 At the beginning of “month 14” we were officially past 13 cycles of trying and justified in seeking help. However, our first attempt for a referral had some annoying hiccups.

Comment Moderation, Again

Email notifications for comments have been broken for at least a year, making the blog rather a one-way communication. I’ve fixed them finally but now I’m feeling a little too blasted by four comments at once and not sure how to reply. It ties into my next post anyway so I’m going to ruminate for a bit before answering.

The December Non-News

Super-Secret Post Originally written at the end of month 13 Final exams, our apartment being robbed, and Christmas kind of took my mind off of things this cycle. We’re starting to lose steam for the effort we can put in to trying…