This is the story of a young couple who ended up in fertility treatment. But it didn’t start out that way.
Exactly As Planned set out to chronicle a control freak and her overplanned conception, pregnancy, and family.
My husband and I always wanted kids. We wanted the timing to be as right as possible: we were 3 years into living thousands of miles from our family and he was still studying, so we were staunchly NOT getting pregnant.
It was my intention to start preparing for pregnancy about six months out – I read a couple preconception books and got the last few things in order (went off the pill, adjusted supplements, caught up on my tetanus shot, etc) without having to rush.
But our circumstances stayed stubbornly where we didn’t want them to be and the “trying” got pushed back another six months. After that, we decided we couldn’t wait any longer, and damn the timing.
A year later we found ourselves embroiled in the world of reproductive medicine and occasionally, I cannot believe this is my life. Some days it feels like a boring arc in a dramatic TV show and others, a bad comedy costarring Hugh Grant.
Maybe you’re here because you know me and you’re following me personally; maybe I can reach some people who don’t know me but know exactly what I’m going through.
Did you know the odds are roughly the same that a couple will get pregnant in their first month of trying versus not being able to get pregnant for a year? Now, which story have you heard more versions of? I think we need to bring fertility trouble out into the light.
Newcomers should review my post about somewhat-common questions and stress as well as the infertility etiquette guide. I also took some time to examine our personal advantages affecting the process.
You might be wondering: how did I end up with such a detailed account of the early months during which I had such a positive attitude if this blog is about fertility treatment? Well, even though the name seems perfect for our current predicament, originally it was meant to poke fun at how dramatic it would be for me if I accidentally gave away before our first ultrasound, by not drinking the champagne toast at a wedding or something, that we were pregnant.
Expecting a timeline of a few months, I agonized over being able to keep people abreast of our efforts on a three-month delay in today’s uber-connected world so they were exactly as up-to-date as I wanted and didn’t read too much into me not eating sashimi. I’ve kept the delay so we have time to process all news, react to it, and reflect on it less emotionally when it comes time to post about it (not to mention I’d still like to keep things quiet in the first few months if we ever do conceive).
Since these “Super-Secret” posts were written so far in the past (generally at least 3 calendar months), my mental state is usually very different by the time you read them. So don’t worry too much about my bad moods. I have a few people in an inner circle who get everything in real-time and are being super-awesome at keeping me sane (props to you!).