All Alone

Super-Secret Post
Originally written end of January

I’m someone who has been involving, um, everyone in this process, but yesterday, today, and tomorrow morning, I’m all alone.

After I thought I had a No for January, suddenly it looked like Not a No. My period is now 4 days late. It’s never even been 3 days late before.

But, after already reporting No to my husband and The One Friend Who Is In The Loop, I don’t want to retract it in case I was right and now I’m wrong. So I’m trying to procure a Yes first.

What I didn’t put together until now is that when average people would use a normal test a couple days after their period was due, I have to use an early detection test, just because of my body’s timing. I’ve heard the dollar-store tests are not inaccurate, just insensitive, but I had bought one before I realized that means for me it’s too long a wait before it’s useful. I wasted it this morning.

So tonight it’s off to the drugstore for something better suited and then tomorrow, I might get to wake up my man with some awesome news.

In the meantime, I’m the only one who knows, and considering my disclosure up to this point, “alone” is a strange place to be.

(That night I knew it was No before I could check again. Sigh.)

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