Taking Charge

Super-secret Post
Originally written beginning-of-month-#5 (“March”))

During March, I am super-paranoid about factors under my control.

The down duvets have to go… even the lightest weight makes me wake up through the night drenched in sweat. Hubby is already not using the laptop on his lap but I’m thinking of buying him boxers. My switch to skim milk a few months before starting trying may have been ill-advised – to whole milk I go! In fact, overall I’m too skinny all of a sudden. Up my portion sizes and add another snack each day. And when I say every-second-night, I mean it.

(That last point falls through because we’re STILL too busy with social engagements. Every month I refuse to overhaul my entire life to focus enough on this one project so why am I so surprised when we can’t make the time without sleep suffering?)

I even priced out the special pro-sperm lube at the drugstore but I’m not keen on putting a price ($6 each use!) on sex.

Sure, it sounds crazy to you. It even sounds crazy to me if I listen to it with my innocent frame of mind from before we started.*

But in my shoes (or the socks I no longer bother to take off during sex) and my control freak level (which desperately wants to chart or do pee OPKs but is luckily too disorganized) any small action brings about a feeling of control and a temporary calm I could almost swear was hope.

*Oh, the innocence. I skipped over all the chapters about delays when I read “what to expect before you’re expecting” because “only think positive!!”.


3 Responses to Taking Charge

  1. Kaitlyn's Mom says:

    Do not think so much!

    Boxers vs. Briefs has some validity.

    Laptops weren’t an issue in my day so I won’t comment beyond it is better for their cooling if you don’t use them on your lap.

    As for the rest, don’t think. I vote for you to stop all your preparations, diet, etc. for 2 months. Give your body and your psyche a rest. Look at what you have – a home, a husband, plentiful food, safe surroundings, something new to look forward to (school) and focus completely on fully appreciating the abundance of your life for 2 months. Give intentional thanks daily for what you have and look for ways to share that abundance with others (socializing, random acts of kindness, etc.)

    I think you need a holiday from trying to get pregnant – you can afford to give yourself one, so do so.

  2. Opal says:

    Just out of curiosity (because we are thinking about planning to TTC) what preconception books did you read/what were your opinions on them.

    Feel free to answer after you take the holiday your Mom suggests above.

    • Kaitlyn says:

      I flipped through the short TTC chapters in Pregnancy for Dummies (yes, really) and the Our Bodies, Ourselves: Pregnancy books, but read most of What to Expect Before You’re Expecting. I don’t remember having any particular opinion about them so I guess that counts as positive for me (I only really make bad opinions if I make any while reading non-fiction on a topic I’m not an expert it).

      But I think everything was covered in What to Expect, although like the other books in that series, seemed to fall on the side of overcaution on a couple of things, after I checked with my doctor, but agreed with him on things like checking my immunizations and starting my prenatal vitamins 6 months out.

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