Super-Secret Post Originally written at the beginning of month 19 This cycle, we got an anvil. At this stage, we are becoming more reserved with the detail we share. You’ll hear some of the consequences of the diagnosis, but if we omit details, it’s probably on purpose. We have a non-treatable condition that reduces our chances of conceiving a child naturally to “it could happen, maybe, with enough time.” This condition often responds to the more-routine interventions offered by fertility […]
Super-Secret Post Originally written during month 18 People accustomed to my coping will know it’s rude to tell me there’s a reason for our struggle. Obviously I’d prefer to believe there isn’t a reason I’m meant to not have kids. But if there’s no reason for this, is there a reason for anything? It feels like there’s a dichotomy — either there’s no reason for anything (and that sucks in its own way) or there’s a reason that I don’t […]
Retyping thoughts when it’s time to post them as “Super-Secret Posts” makes me realize how important support group has been. It fixed the being-alone part and that cushions everything. It also helps me count the things I’m lucky for… at least I can take appointments (or run in for procedures) any time since I study from home. Then again, the women with careers have something else to give them meaning for now. Being a mother was supposed to be my […]