Back before I knew any better, and with a long track record of elaborate online pranks with lead up and “photo evidence”, I took advantage of access to a 12-week scan of an older friend’s baby and carefully cut together my own name with the letters available to “photoshop” (MSPaint) my own scan, posting that our “big news” alluded to the day before was a baby (it was actually the fact that we were moving across the country after graduation […]
A bonus post about why after a year or two you can never really be cured of infertility, even if you eventually manage to have healthy babies. The money The money that could have been a family vacation (or three), allowed the house you buy to be just a bit less of a fixer upper, given you a little breathing room to job search a little longer, or hell, to help out others whose need is so much more than […]
Recap of Months 24, 25, and 26, composed in the present since I had no contemporary notes We had been waiting for quite some time to decide if we were going to relocate. When we got the bad diagnostic news in May of 2013, I said we were picking up and relocating without a reason to do so except that we needed to come home (and I wanted to feel in control of *something*). We picked our university town of […]
I forgot to edit my browsing history on Amazon after looking for a resource to bring to my work placement at a daycare centre. Today I was sent the Featured Baby Deal of the Week right to my inbox. 🙁
This blog chronicles our personal experience which comes with its own quirks of challenges and advantages. Note: This post will be occasionally updated to reflect our current status. Feel free to reach out if you have questions about a previous version. Most recent update: November 2014. I want to explicitly acknowledge some of the ways this process is easier for us than for some others. It doesn’t make it “less” of an experience that I have these things easier, but […]
Super-Secret Post Originally written at the beginning of month 20 I was brushing my hair on day 2 and one white hair was sticking out. And I kind of lost it. For a while, I was not pulling white hairs since I thought I’d be a mom soon and wanted to look older than I do. Then, I compromised to only pulling them if they were looking super obnoxious sticking straight out. They could survive by keeping their head down. […]
Super-Secret Post Originally written during month 18 People accustomed to my coping will know it’s rude to tell me there’s a reason for our struggle. Obviously I’d prefer to believe there isn’t a reason I’m meant to not have kids. But if there’s no reason for this, is there a reason for anything? It feels like there’s a dichotomy — either there’s no reason for anything (and that sucks in its own way) or there’s a reason that I don’t […]
There’s no news until next month so here’s an itty-bitty post of two quotes from the spring I never got around to sharing. A one-liner from the end of Month 8: Cramps: Adding injury to insult. A little dialogue from right after we started the three-month break. Hubby, mocking The Talk: “Sometimes, when a man and a woman love each other very much -” Me: “- it’s not enough.”
Super-Secret Post Originally written part-way through month #7 This announcing-that-we-are-trying thing has backfired so totally. The idea was that, while in the “trying” stage, if I suddenly stopped drinking, bouldering, hot tubbing, etc I would just give everyone the wrong idea and it would be so exhausting to refute everyone in the face of all the “evidence”. And it was about giving out the MAXIMUM amount of information, not the minimum. Instead I get far more attention instead of less. […]
I’ve only had cursory interactions with pregnant women and mothers around my own age, but my incompatibility thus far has me pretty concerned about the day they will be my peers. Specifically, when the conversation turns to advice. It’s worth mentioning that if you take a random normal person I’m going to be awkward with them… The difference is that normal people don’t usually spot something about me that they feel we have in common to start up a conversation […]