No News Is Still No News

Super-Secret Post
Originally written at the end of month #7

Whoops – been really busy lately and lost track of the updates. Sorry about that.

The April/May “month” was a bust as well. (more…)

Date-Math Fail

A few cycles back, I realized something while counting which blew my mind with just how terrible I am at date math.


Blog Backfire

Super-Secret Post
Originally written part-way through month #7

This announcing-that-we-are-trying thing has backfired so totally.

The idea was that, while in the “trying” stage, if I suddenly stopped drinking, bouldering, hot tubbing, etc I would just give everyone the wrong idea and it would be so exhausting to refute everyone in the face of all the “evidence”.

And it was about giving out the MAXIMUM amount of information, not the minimum.

Instead I get far more attention instead of less. I have a headache, am sad, have to pee, look busty? “OMG preggers!!” I go skiing, top roping, out to the bar but don’t immediately mention I didn’t drink anything? “Guess you’re not pregnant.” (more…)

The March/April Non-News

Super-Secret Post
Originally written end-of-month-#6

It’s a testament to my habit forming that I’ve stopped assuming in going to be pregnant soon. I  vaguely know that the fall might have a pregnancy but I’m forgetting that it might throw my  Christmas into disarray, and when I make plans for the next couple months I assume trying will be a part of them. This is now business as usual.

Trying Not-Trying

Super-Secret Post
Originally written at the beginning of Month 6 (Mid-March)

I spent a lot of time regrouping after my “take charge” plan failed so flat last round and decided to try the “not trying” thing. Ridiculous, right? I know it’s not supposed to be a strategy, sort of, you know, by definition, but I’ll take a swing at it anyway.


The March Non-News

Super-secret Post
Originally written end-of-month-#5

March: no. Didn’t have much time to dwell on it since I was busy having a great time back where I went to school. Did drink myself slightly sick and accidentally send my confidant under the table.

The only other thing to mention is that the month labels start to fail soon, so the next “month” is March/April. Turns out a month is not 26 days.

Taking Charge

Super-secret Post
Originally written beginning-of-month-#5 (“March”))

During March, I am super-paranoid about factors under my control.


The February Non-News

Super-secret Post
Written mid- and end-of-February

February is filled with ugly and nothing to show for it. (more…)

All Alone

Super-Secret Post
Originally written end of January

I’m someone who has been involving, um, everyone in this process, but yesterday, today, and tomorrow morning, I’m all alone.

After I thought I had a No for January, suddenly it looked like Not a No. My period is now 4 days late. It’s never even been 3 days late before.

But, after already reporting No to my husband and The One Friend Who Is In The Loop, I don’t want to retract it in case I was right and now I’m wrong. So I’m trying to procure a Yes first.

What I didn’t put together until now is that when average people would use a normal test a couple days after their period was due, I have to use an early detection test, just because of my body’s timing. I’ve heard the dollar-store tests are not inaccurate, just insensitive, but I had bought one before I realized that means for me it’s too long a wait before it’s useful. I wasted it this morning.

So tonight it’s off to the drugstore for something better suited and then tomorrow, I might get to wake up my man with some awesome news.

In the meantime, I’m the only one who knows, and considering my disclosure up to this point, “alone” is a strange place to be.

(That night I knew it was No before I could check again. Sigh.)

The January Non-News

Super-Secret Post
Originally composed end-of-January

Well, no April Fools psych for us this year. (Back at school I used to pull big whoppers every year, so I was thinking if we could announce it could be late on the 31st, which would show up as early on the 1st for my friends who are three time zones ahead. They wouldn’t be sure if I were kidding and I wouldn’t even be posting on April 1. But, it wasn’t meant to be.)

After January, I’m just wondering about numbers. What are the actual chances in each month for couples our ages? (Let’s say we’re both late-twenties.)

And the overall numbers that get thrown around as pregnancy rates for couples using no birth control – 15% chance every month, 85% chance over the course of a year – are they the same as for a couple that are trying 3 times a week? Every day?

I was fascinated to learn that no studies have confirmed the assumption that timing intercourse for ovulation increases chances, but they have seen that couples who try 3 times a week do have higher results. I don’t know if this comes from a misunderstanding of when to time it in relation to ovulation, a misunderstanding of when ovulation really occurs for individuals, or some other factor. (Not sure I still have a source for that; sorry.)

Thank goodness…  I was terrible at taking the pee OPK tests at the same time each day since you’re not supposed to do those ones in the morning.  (Charting temperatures is out until I figure out my bed linens and stop alternating freezing and sweating every morning.) I tried some really inexpensive ones in month 2 and 3 because they sounded like a fun chemistry experiment and so I would know if a day was non-optional… December’s was *not* at day 14 and I messed up January’s testing before reading about that study and giving up. And we’re just not an every-day kind of couple.

This was especially depressing because I was 4 days late after a false start. I’ve never been even 3 days late before. And we didn’t have the excuse of a business trip or illness like the first two months which makes me really nervous.